Ruby and Thoughts of Food

There is this show on the Style network Ruby http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/ruby/index.jsp  it's pretty amazing real life story. I've been watching since last year. Ruby is a brave woman on a journey to regain her life and loose weight. She started at over 700 pounds and now is in the mid 300's. Her new season of shows has started, and I watched her 2 hour premier this week. She did something new, a group therapy experience. It's something I've actually done before, though mine wasn't based around weight issues. I felt for her, I knew what was coming up as the episode progressed, I'd been there done that.
What amazes me about her though is her bravery mixed with a whole lot of denial. I think I can relate to that more than even I want to admit to myself. Only as I go through my own food change journey I see my own denial more clearly. I have to confront it when it's lurks up on me. When I'm driving in town and have this inner head battle over how I will avoid going to get something that will make me feel like crap but I think maybe I miss, or only once won't hurt, or it may be bad for me but it still is basically vegan.... pulling voices battling over what I already know. I've been winning in that I'm not taking actions in the wrong directions. I'll take the time to go somewhere 'safe' to eat, or I'll win and go home to make a meal.
Still I have to admit to myself, there wouldn't even be a discussion in my head if it wasn't an issue for me. So as I watched Ruby and have watched in the past and I can so clearly see her lying to herself and living in such blinded denial..... it reminds me of something I learned in one of those 'therapy boot camps' so to speak. Sometimes the thing you can see so clearly in someone else is only because that 'thing' is clearly you being reflected. In other words you can see it because you know it, because it's YOU.
At any rate, more food for my thoughts. The one way I know I'll succeed is by being completely honest with myself and accountable here. This is my motivation place my place where I have to say what's real and report if I'm doing OK. Maybe that's why Ruby does her show? It helps I must say, when I think oh crap I would have to write down that I had that food!? I resist! So whatever works.
If you ever wondered what it was like to be a messed up struggling over weight person confronting the reasons you eat, you might want to watch Ruby's show on the Style network. You might love her you might not get it at all, but I promise if you pay attention you might just see and learn a little something about the human condition and gain a little compassion for the conundrum of a soul who is brave and weak in a conflicting way that on the outside might not make any sense, you have to get to their core to get it.