Not a Vegan World

So how did I do on my out of state wedding trip? I know your wondering. You can decide for yourself I'm going to give you an honest run down of the past week I've not blogged.
Travel day Thursday April 15th. Miso soup, steamed greens, Rice with seeds and dried fruit. Lunch Cajun Steamers had fried oysters with curly fries, with my hubby. A treat for myself before my long trip. Now there is controversy on oyster eating & the Vegan name "Link" if your into conflict you can read up on it. For me personally I've given up so much drop it all cold right now it's my life line to normal and I won't feel bad about it. I'm already deficient in B vitamins and they make me feel better, end of my take for ME personally on the matter.
continue:
On the plane I got really hungry, I ate 2 crackers they provided and it took care of the pain in my gut but they tasted awful. I arrived at 10PM California time, everything was closed. I'd been on the plane since 4PM Nashville time. My Brother in Law tried to find something for me to eat, we ended up at a Wendy's, by the time I removed everything from the salad I wouldn't eat it was ice burg lettuce and a cold baked potato. I ate a few bites (it was 2AM my time zone), and threw it all away. I went to bed exhausted and hungry.
Friday: Early morning wake up call, they had eggs and Coco Puffs on the menu. I declined and waited. Being as we were out in the middle of a small town, my options were very limited. We had a bridal shoot to do, "Link to Bridal Teaser" by the time everything was accomplished it was 4PM California time and 6PM my time zone to my body. I'd not eaten since my lunch prior to getting on the plane, I was faint, nauseated and starving. They knew of a Mexican place that had vegetarian menu items. It was one of those small places tucked into a strip mall, and I've never had a burrito taste so good! lol I of course had them omit cheese and sour cream, and it was a BIG burrito I enjoyed every bite.
Later that evening they had the rehearsal dinner, and I again had to choose little to eat, I had some ice burg lettuce and smiled that I was being faithful.
Wedding day, Saturday the 17th. The lack of good sleep, and being hungry most of the time was getting to me, but I had a job to do and I only expect the best from myself. I was suffering with shoulder pain, and an encroaching migraine. Not a good combination, considering what I had ahead of me for the day. Again, coco puffs and eggs were the offerings I declined.
We were off very early I helped go set up the decor for the reception hall. No this is not typical for a wedding photographer, but these were soon to be somewhat extended family so I went with the flow. That was a good four hours of work. We stopped by Kmart, low and behold that was across the street from the Mexican place. Even though it was still morning, they serve breakfast, and were more than happy to make me a Vegan Burrito! YES! I was saved! Oh btw they use whole beans, so mega plus.
While everyone was getting all beautiful I indulged in a champagne mimosa with them, (thought it might relax my shoulder knot and downed a couple Excedrin) Not my favorite way to deal with exhaustion, jet lag, lack of sleep, and huge work day, but it got me through.
I started shooting pre-ceremony shots about noon. It was a beautiful day for a wedding. In between the grooms men and the brides with her maids shots, there a little time so the guys decided they had time for Carl Jr's burgers before the wedding. I was with them, so I had to go. I broke down and had a coke, I was waning and my energy just was not where I needed it to be. I felt like I was seriously cheating.
The ceremony was at 4PM, and everything ran pretty much on time. At the reception there were a couple options for me, I had a few small potatoes, a roll, salad w/o dressing. It was something and I needed something.
Sunday, woke up early, there was a special bible talk that morning and I wasn't going to miss it, as it was also being delivered in my home town congregation where hubby and kids were going. No breakfast again for me. (there was never a chance to or person available to take me shopping in the midst of all this wedding chaos so I wasn't going to be a Vegan Diva). lol
For Sunday lunch we went to a nice Mexican sit down place. Honestly I was so hungry again. I got Shrimp Fajita's. I am not going to let myself feel guilty, all they had were smashed up lard beans with cheese so the shrimp was my protein option. I've not worked this hard w/o major protein in my meals ever in my life. I'm a steak and sweet potato girl, and I use to regular go to Logan's Roadhouse for a sirloin before I did a wedding. OK yes I DO feel guilty, and at the same time I knew I needed to eat. So I did what I needed to do to keep going.
I had enough for take home, and had a repeat of lunch for dinner. Only I also did have a very small piece of  left over wedding cake and later downed a champagne mimosa with late night talk with the bride's sister.
Monday travel home day. 6AM wake up call, hit the road at 6:30AM. At the airport I had a Subway Veggie Sub no cheese no dressings. It was so good. I also bought a brownie, I ate a few bites and changed my mind about that poor decision.
On the plane peanuts lightly salted, OK I had them. Got home 6PM Nashville time, and went to Mexican with hubby and my boys. I had Vegetarian Fajita's. (no shrimp this time). I thought wow I've done alright, not bad, patting self on the back. I made it through this crazy trip and choose hunger over bad choices.
Tuesday, I was home and mostly just went hungry again, too tired to figure anything out to eat. I left the house hungry to pick up my daughter and really did myself in as far as feeling good, I drove through Krispy Kreme (the devil's donuts), and bought chocolate creme filled two of them and a bottle of water. I pretty much feel like a dog now and hate that I have to tell you I did that. sigh
For dinner I picked up my daughter (she's been taking care of my sister), and we had Genghis Grill and wow they have tofu too! I had a perfectly balanced vegan meal and it felt SO GOOD! PROPS to Genghis Grill!
We went to the store late and bought some food for the rest of the week. Wednesday morning I was up at 4AM. I spent the day helping my sister get to her and her son's doctors appointments. For some reason my exhaustion had me feeling sorry for myself, frustrated and very sick of being hungry half the time. (I don't know how super models do that! lol). I did not have time to make myself anything good, and all I've wanted for several days now was some miso soup and steamed greens (I kid not I'm actually craving this food now). Instead I found myself at McD's (my mortal enemy I don't even eat there neither do my kids for years now), and bought a chicken biscuit and a coke! ugh I ate it all, and drank a very little of the coke. Being hungry for this long is NOT serving me well. sigh
For lunch after our flat tire adventure (wasn't as bad as it could have been with a 33 week pregnant mommy and her trached toddler... thanks to Beaman Toyota who were wonderful! to take care of us quickly and w/o charge). ...We found a take out Chinese place that looked good. I ordered cashew shrimp. Felt bad about that and only ate 2 of the shrimp, but the celery and cashews were good. (although I'm fairly certain all those sauces have corn syrup or other bad for me sugars in them). ugh I also had water with it.
At this point though I'm feeling pretty bad about myself and how quickly I did the 'ok' job of staying pretty Vegan on my trip.
For dinner on my way home from my sisters, I called hubby to meet me at Cajun Steamers, I'm thinking tomorrow I'll do better and get back on track. I had my fried oysters and fried green tomatoes with him and it was nice being just us after a week. The bad thing was though that he was slow in coming and so I stopped at Sonic and ordered a Reese's Peanut butter cup blast. I knew the sugar had all accumulated and started the cravings and the constant hunger, not to mention pms was doing me in! I ate several bites (maybe a 1/5 of a regular sized one or less), and tossed the rest into the trash and berated myself. ugh grrr I thought!
Today here we are finally today! Can I redeem myself? I don't know your the judge. For me I'm going to put the past behind me and begin again w/o dwelling too much. I'm not sure what all I could have done to prevent my lapses, planning, carrying nuts with me? I don't know you need real meals to keep going and I've not had enough of them.
So I got up and delivered my daughter to her morning appt. I stopped at Kroger and filled one of those carry baskets with green organic goodies. $27. I came home ate 3 tsp of agave sweetened peanut butter while I made a pot of miso soup. It was so good! I have greens too but I've not steamed any yet. I started a pot of Asuka beans I had soaked last night, now daughter and I are putting together Vegan Clean mean Burrito's with Tofu cream. YUM! So today, so far so good. I have a plan for a Vegan dinner, and will make a porridge for over night.
I get up very early tomorrow to drive into my sisters an hour away, to take her to her ultra sound appt. She gets to see her baby on one of those 3D machines. COOL! I am thinking soup, porridge greens for breakfast, and bringing the makings for a Vegan Burrito with me for my lunch.
I can't wait to be back on track! I feel like crap-o-la! I'm disappointed in myself and I have some sugar ache in my bones a bit today. sigh
Just think about this though, this total lack of options out there. I drive through town and everything is based on a meat or a dairy. I'm excited about Genghis Grill! I know they are my new helper! OH! Miranda just walked in with her huge Vegan Burrito! MUST GO MAKE MINE NOW!! lol
I hope my honesty wasn't discouraging. I hope to inspire some reality in my journey and yours.