New start

Today was fairly busy, but I managed to do better. I didn't have time to eat right this morning, so I made a peanut butter sandwich to bring on the go. I was pretty nauseated from getting up so early, it was several hours before I ate. On the way to the doctors office with my sister and nephew, she wanted to stop for a doughnut. She wanted to get me something. I was really dragging so I said OK to a muffin and coffee. I don't drink coffee but I thought a couple sips might help. They put sugar in it so I skipped the coffee even though it was already paid for.

For lunch I had Veggie Fajita's out at my favorite Mexican place. I was by myself, for the first time in a good while. I had a book I've been reading and so I enjoyed the quite meal and let myself linger as it was well past the lunch rush. It was really nice to be waited on and have no demands on me for that one hour.
I'm missing cooking though. My kitchen is a total disaster as my family doesn't clean up after themselves even in the least. You would think they didn't know what a trash can was even. ugh. So the busier I am the worse my kitchen gets, making cooking a night mare until I get things caught up. With as busy as I've been that seems nearly impossible right now.

I didn't want to go home, so I called my daughter and told her to get ready. I drove up to the house and we went shopping. She needed the outing and I needed to avoid the mess in my kitchen one more afternoon. We had a good time, and found some needed things. :-) I love retail therapy (not usually though I rarely shop), this time it was helpful, and quality time with my daughter who's been really missing me with my crazy schedule.
When it got late we stopped at Kroger and bought Amy's Vegan Pizza, and some coconut milk ice cream. We came home had pizza, a nice sized salad with my favorite Umboshi plum vinegar and flax oil dressing I mix myself. Then a small bowl of ice cream. A perfect Friday night easy dinner, after a long day of helping my sister and then shopping with my daughter.

I've worked on the kitchen and with a little more effort in the morning it will be mostly caught up. Then I can start cooking again and get some new food pictures taken and posted!

For now know that I'm back on track and relieved to be so! I do not feel right when I'm not living up to my self commitment, and I do not feel right not just emotionally but physically I can tell this is really helping me.

It's been hard though, because my meals were so few and then messed up, and I've felt so off and exhausted. To top that off my daughter who's not even over weight had dropped from a size 7 to a 3/4, and her BFF who recently went Vegan has also dropped 2 whole dress sizes. Of course they are 16/17, and I'm 42. Still! It's really depressing! I've lost some in water weight and I feel more comfortable, but I'm still in the same sized clothes. I do not have anything that looks too big for me yet.

When we went shopping she is just SO much smaller than she was. We have talked to her doctor though and been encouraged to have her eat more bread and peanut butter, higher calorie foods as she is still a growing teen, and needs her calories. So we are going to work on that, as we never expected such weight loss let alone anything this rapid.

I'm really trying to not be disappointed, but well it's next to impossible. I'm really happy for the girls. It's just more evidence of how hard it is for me to loose weight. sigh Right now just writing this makes me want to cry. ugh I really truly needs this to work for me as well. I do not want to be this heavy for the rest of my life. I know this is making me feel better, more healthy, but a little 'looking' healthy would be nice. I mean no one is going to believe I'm a Vegan if  I stay this over weight. OK enough whining.

Tomorrow is another challenging day. We have lots of activities planned, and will be on the go. Maybe I'll have the energy to get up early, clean and cook a real vegan breakfast. :-) Good night.