Pandora's Box

In Greek mythology, Pandora's box is the large jar (πιθος pithos) carried by Pandora (Πανδώρα) that, when opened by her, unleashed many terrible things on mankind – ills, toils and sickness, but there was one good thing left inside, hope.[1] Contrary to popular belief, in the original story, Pandora's "box" was not actually a box at all, but rather a jar. Hence, the historically correct term would be "Pandora's jar".

Key word up there for me is 'hope'. Because I opened my own jar when I added meat to my diet again. I had my first fast food burger in 2 1/2 months, on Wednesday.

It seems lately, I've been either sick, trying to get well, trying to not be sick, working, or exhausted in bed. So the 'real deal' grocery shopping hasn't happened in weeks! I've grabbed a few things here and there, bought things for my family to survive on. Treated myself to veggies out a few times.

I've had of course some eggs and chicken, lots of veggies over all. Still I've felt it creeping in this 'lack' of commitment. On Wednesday I had been pretty whipped, and too dragging to get out the door on time, hadn't eaten and it was past lunch time. I caved into my weakness, I drove thru Steak and Shake on my way to photograph my gorgeous new nephew. I've done well enough since this one meal. Veggies, and lite protein add ins.

The thing that dawned on me though yesterday as I opened up my mind to let my reality in. Is that when I allowed in the protein from meat sources some of my commitment to this path dropped to the way side. I'm almost past the two week point on taking on the Candida. I am sure I've put a dent in it's strength, and if I get myself on track fully as a Vegan again, continue with supplements, and my new water. I'm pretty sure that the Candida war will be won, as I continue my battles in all other areas.

So I've resolved that being Vegan fully is the only way that I will succeed fully. I'm just a too much all or nothing person and I will continue to justify foods, on occasion over time and before I know it, I will have let go of all I've been working for. I know myself too well to not see it coming. Denial of this inevitability is not an option here.

I have a wedding to shoot tomorrow. After that I'm home for a couple weeks, I'll still be editing, schooling my kids, and living up to all my other 'jobs', but I'm planning on focusing back on what started all of this for me. The Kind Diet. I am missing the shopping, cooking, and connection with what I'm eating. I was feeling really proud of myself, and loved what I was doing (even when it was hard the rewards were worth it). Now I'm not forgetting I've been sick, and dealing with the Candia curve. It's just I know now I must go back to Vegan right away or momentum may be lost for good.

My plan for now is to get through the next couple of days, spend a day after recouping then putting together my menus and start preparing my Vegan meals again. :-)

My beautiful nephew: